Fahoo Forays Dahoo Dorays

"Christmas, children, is not a date. It's a state of mind." -Mary Ellen Chase

For those who are confused by the title of this post, it's the lyrics to the song from "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" that the Who's sing on Christmas morning despite not having lights, trees, or presents. For those who are still confused, here's a life update.

If you've been following my blog for awhile, you know that I had been preparing for five players from the Nicaraguan Women's National Team to come to Granada to help run a workshop with our participants this past Friday. I had organized an entire afternoon for everybody complete with soccer, salsa music, an opportunity for questions and answers, and an exchange of locker room/activity space decorations full of inspirational quotes and encouraging words. I had gathered an extensive list of popular songs, combined them to create a solid music mix for the big day, and meticulously planned out a foot skills exercise to the beat of the music (much like Maren's calf-burning 'coerver' drills with her favorite 80s mix) I bought a copious amount of poster board, pumped up 65 soccer balls, and could barely sleep on Thursday night just hoping that everything would run smoothly.

More importantly, the girls were so excited. The Mariposas (the younger group) had been practicing a team dance to welcome the National Team players for the past two weeks, for hours at a time, and even showed up to the office on Wednesday (when we don't have any activities or practice) to make sure they had it down pat. On my visit to Johanna's house early last week, she mentioned that she wants to be a professional soccer player when she grows up so I couldn't help but spill the big news that the National Team was coming to Granada and her face immediately lit up. For the next two weeks, she informed me how many days were left until they would be here each time she saw me. 'Christmas' was coming, and there was an almost tangible excitement in Tres Pisos.

Then, an hour and a half before their scheduled arrival time, I got an email from the girl I had been contacting for the past month saying that something came up at the last minute and they wouldn't be able to make it. Say whaaat. The day that had been chock full of hope and expectations came to a screeching halt. Despite feeling incredibly deflated, we only had an hour and Larkin did not allow time for panic to settle in. We immediately thought to replace the National Team members with some of our own Veteranas to still give the girls an idea of what it's like to play soccer at a higher level, and the obstacles that they have overcome to reach their success. We hopped in a taxi and went to visit the homes of the players we had in mind; Rubia had to work for her aunt all afternoon, Samari told us she could come for a bit before she had to go to practice, and Marling also agreed to show up. It wasn't much, but it was something.

We scrambled to get back to the office and organize everything despite the chaotic mess that had just ensued. The girls arrived at the scheduled time and we sent them up to the third floor each with a ball as we had planned, but Samari and Marling didn't show up either, so any resemblance of a plan had disintegrated along with all my confidence that I could still make it a productive afternoon.

Larkin announced that I would lead them all in a soccer activity to start and then they would get the chance to hear from their coaches about the role of soccer in their lives, and what it's like to play at a higher level. I expected to see faces drop and their excitement deflate in front of my eyes, just as mine had. Instead they put the balls down at their feet and looked up, ready to participate in whatever I had in store for them. I started my playlist, and we played. The foot skills evolved into just dancing when their legs got tired, and try as I might to stick to my original plan I decided to let it go and adjust to the new momentum of the day rather than continuously attempting and failing to impose my own direction. The "Grinch" had taken everything I thought I needed to make this day special, but the Who's in Whoville still joined in song to welcome Christmas.

The dance of the Mariposas still went on.

The girls hung on Hassell and Helen's every word.

And the disappointment of ruined expectations was checked at the door. I was thankful, impressed, and humbled; I learned that positivity and having a good attitude truly makes the difference in any situation. And having good help doesn't hurt either :)

My heart may have grown two sizes that day.

Amor, Paz, y Fútbol

KPope

Confessions

Every Wednesday at Governor Dummer Academy, I sat in chapel from 7:45 until 8:00am and listened to someone from the community give a short speech, share a story, a piece of advice, a song, or some sort of insight into their lives. It's arguably the tradition I miss the most from high school. I learned so much about my peers and my teachers that I never would have learned through typical daily interactions, and I received the best life advice during those 15 minutes each week. My confession is that I secretly have saved a lot of recorded chapel speeches in my iTunes and I listen to them every so often to be reminded of the incredible people I met at that school and the lessons that have greatly affected the course of my life. One of my favorite speeches is my basketball coach O'Connell's speech that she delivered shortly after the devastating events of Hurrican Katrina had left her previous home of New Orleans in ruins. She opens with a quote from a book called The Real American Dream, and it reads "Human beings need to organize the sensations amid which we pass our days--pain, desire, pleasure, fear--in to a story. When that story leads somewhere and thereby helps us navigate through life, it gives us hope. We must imagine some end of life that transcends our own tiny allotment of days and hours if we are to keep at bay the dim suspicion that one may be adrift in an absurd world." Dense stuff, I'll pause to let that sink in.

She continues to tell her story of how the storm had impacted her despite being 15,000 miles away and of all her friends who lost homes, jobs, cars. She talks of her visit to New Orleans that November to see her old students, players, and colleagues. Her questions of past visits consisted of how their teams were doing, where they were applying to college, and what was the latest gossip. In just a short year's time, the relevant questions drastically transitioned to whether their houses were still standing, whether their families were still together, whether they could ever move back to New Orleans after being evacuated. She said it was one of the most difficult things she has ever done, to see so much of what made her friends who they were (sense of place, community, belonging) destroyed in an instant. She talked about her attempt to try to find a lesson despite all the tragedy; she initially questioned her passion for coaching basketball and thought that maybe she should put more time and energy into something more 'impactful' on a worldwide scale, or perhaps she thought she should just cut back on her intensity as a coach since there are worse things than losing. She quoted an old colleague who she described as the 'most intense football coach she had ever met' who had this admirable ability to leave his emotions on the field. "The streetcars will still run tomorrow," he used to say. But when the streetcars stop running, what happens with the role of sports in one's life? Especially O'Connell's. She pours her heart and soul into what she does, and exudes enthusiasm and a fierce competitive spirit, which was admittedly frightening at times for a girl who can't sink a jump shot if her life depended on it. However, she makes the distinction that sports aren't the determining factor in this lesson--it can be substituted out for anything that you invest your life in, whatever makes you you, and the feeling of loss if that were taken away. Her quote that hit me the hardest was this, "I cannot make basketball a less important part of my life and I shouldn't try. It is who I am, it is what makes me me, and for that reason it is important. I think I am more intense this season because I feel a renewed sense of urgency. I want to impart these lessons to my team. I want them to love the game and to love each other. I want them to find their place, their sense of community that gives them hope, and for the first time in my life I understand that this is a great privilege to be together now. Here. In this moment."

She succeeded in doing all those things. I still can't sink a jump shot if my life depended on it, but I loved the game, and I loved my teammates. And I miss both of those things but I have found my place working towards achieving those same goals for the Estrellas. I have hope that my story is starting to lead somewhere instead of feeling very adrift as I felt nearing the end of my senior year of college. Listening to her speech again renewed my sense of urgency, which had subsided after having developed such a high level of comfort after living here for two and a half months. My time is limited and I have a lot to do. Maybe there are more important things in life than playing soccer with these girls, but 'team' is what makes me me, and has changed the course of my life and I think changing the course of lives seems pretty darn important to me at this moment. 

Tonight I was running around Tres Pisos getting the necessary materials together to run our activity and paying attention to little else. Hasly came inside, though the girls are supposed to wait outside on the stoop until we are ready for them to come in. I was about to ask her to go back outside, but she said, "Kelly, tienes la cámara?" (Do you have your camera?) Yes, why? I asked her. "Vení," she said. (Cmon!) She pulled me upstairs to the third floor balcony to show me this.

Probably most importantly, I am reminded that this is a privilege for me. I am able to live out my passion day in and day out thanks to so much emotional and financial support from people back home, and I am able to simply be present. Here. In this moment. And together with some amazing, amazing young girls.

Thanks OC. Sorry to be a creep!

Amor, paz, y fútbol

KPope

 

Top 25 "Plays" of the Weekend

In no particular order...

25:

The area by the far wall in the baseball stadium is technically our field, but it has been covered by "monte" or heavy brush and we haven't been able to play on it (so we've been stealing some space on the baseball fields, which they don't like very much) But after hiring some people for manual labor, it is clear and it is beautiful! Still a little ways to go before it is playable, but we've made some serious progress!

24:

The other field we play on is right next to the lake, and Saturday we had a beautiful morning for our regular league game. This past week Estrellas #1 were scheduled to play against Estrellas #2. They battled to a 0-0 tie, and the game was full of sportsmanship, competition, and laughter. I felt like a proud momma.

23:

Lizbeth, the goalie for Estrellas #2, punts the ball up field after a great save.

22:

Lupe (#3) holds off her opponent Johanna, while Josseling (#35) gives support and Diana and Jaqueling are closing in to triple team

21:

Melisa, the Nicaraguan Celeste "Legs" Swain takes a free kick after a foul play.

20

Hasly takes a throw-in with perfect form- a bragging point for the Estrellas since the boys teams always take illegal throw-ins and consequently lose possession

19:

Rosa, the goalie for Estrellas #1, hangs out in net while the ball is down the other end. Rosa is a true leader on the team, and takes most of the free kicks, even though she's the keeper. On Friday she scored a goal from close to half field!

18:

Alba (#5) tackles Jaqueling off the ball with Taicha (#21) right behind her with good support. It was a constant battle in the midfield throughout the whole game

17: 

One of the Estrella #1's best opportunities for a goal off a corner kick, but the Estrellas #2 held strong on defense

16:

Lupe and Josseling were all smiles at the final whistle

15:

 Coach Techo announces the lineup and talks game strategy before the Estrellas took on a boys team from Prusia (a rural town outside of Granada) on Friday

14:

Anyeli, Yahoska, Alega, Taicha, and Ericka having fun on the sidelines while they cheered on the Estrellas #1 during the first half. 

13:

Both Estrella teams and the boys from Prusia after the game. The girls lost 2-1 but played their hearts out and surprised the boys with their ferocity and talent

12:

Vilmania and María Alejandra still have boundless energy after the game; two of the most energetic girls I know!

11:

Hasly, Lizbeth, and Johanna after the Saturday game. The three inseparable musketeers.

10:

And then they wanted me to jump in! Melisa (Johanna's sister) and María Alejandra popped in too. It's hard to have a bad day at work when I get to see these faces all the time.

9:

Vilmania and Ericka! Somehow looking beautiful after 40 min of soccer under the sun. 

8:

Alba, one of the quietest girls in the group, very politely asked me if she could take a picture with me. It was one of the only times I've ever heard her speak, and she gave me a giant hug afterwards. It was hard to wipe my smile away after that one

7:

Joseling and Anyeli- a new found friendship through the program, and one of the best things to be able to watch develop week after week

6:

Hasly, Lizbeth's other half, being sassy per usual and making everyone around her laugh. She's pretty good at that. A magnetic personality on the team.

5:

Larkin always shows up to the field on Saturdays, even though it's her day off. She pours her heart and soul into this job 24/7 and I'm so lucky to be able to work with her and learn from her

4:

Flaca and Helen looking like a million bucks no matter what is happening with the weather. The best role models these girls could ask for, and the best co-workers that make my part of the job so easy and fun

3:

Melisa and Margarita, best friends, next door neighbors. One is tall, the other is tiny. Sort of reminds me of this other pair of friends that I know ;)

2:

Selvin and Jaqueling, missing the third wheel of their tricycle (Rosa) These three have some serious 'swag' and their self-confidence beams through with the way they carry themselves on and off the field. 

AND

1:

My first steps in the Pacific Ocean! Mady and I traveled down to beautiful San Juan del Sur on the Pacific coast of Nicaragua (about 3 hours south) for an overnight getaway. It was exactly what the doctor called for.

Now I'm off to print trivia questions, prepare for activity night, help run the activity, rush over to facilitate the trivia night right after (we do this every Tuesday at a local cafe and the proceeds directly benefit our program) and a million other things to organize and prepare for Friday when the National Team players come to Tres Pisos! Back to the grind.

Can't really complain about any of it :)

Amor, Paz, y Fútbol

KPope

Home

The other night I was hand-washing some of my clothes in a bucket in my bathroom. I was pumping music and singing like no one was listening, though I’m sure Mady could hear my embarrassing high notes from down the hall. For the first hour or so, hand-washing my clothes was a very cathartic experience. The next two hours, however, I developed wrinkly and blistering fingers from wringing out every article of clothing and decided I would resort back to Larkin’s laundry machine for the rest of the load. In those 3 hours, from 10pm until 1am, my shuffling iTunes played some gems that I haven’t heard in years. Certain songs have the power to bring me back to vivid moments in time as soon as they start to play. As I sat scrubbing away in my bathroom in Granada, Nicaragua, my mind was elsewhere in Byfield, MA, Buenos Aires, Winthrop Hall, Baxter House, Brunswick Apartments D,G,H,J,K,S, and T, Stowe Inn, Harpswell Apartments, Pleasant St, 126 Loring Ave, 98 High Pine Lane, 27 Pinecliff Drive, 6 Greenleaf Drive, and 5 Curtis Point.

All of these places have been ‘home’ to me at one point or another and the songs were making me crazy with nostalgia. "Numb/Encore" made me want to be back on a basketball court with ML and Griesbach and the rest of the Red Dogs in our tear-away shiny white warm up pants. "Paper Planes" made me want to be moving back into Winthrop Hall where our floor played it on repeat for the first month straight as we discovered unconventional friendships and newfound freedoms. “Empire State of Mind” almost made me want to be back on the first floor of Baxter with Elle where our neighbors blasted it through their sub woofer at all hours of the day and night. "Get U Home" and "Don’t Stop Believin’" obviously made me want to be back in the locker room with my Bears. Nelly’s "Heart of a Champion" will forever remind me of parties at the Gould’s house. "Hey Soul Sister" made me miss the Stowe Inn crew. "Seek Bromance" made my heart hurt for S3. "Master of the House" from Les Miserables brings me back to Christmas parties at Grandmaman’s and Grandpapa’s, "Shout" put me right back in Goody and Grumpa’s kitchen dancing with the rest of my cousins, and then “Havin’ a Party” made me giggle remembering laying up with Holly, wide awake in the loft of Gretsky after having put all of our other cousins to sleep in beds, while our parents and the Starrs BLASTED that song downstairs and sang to it at the top of their lungs. We weren’t happy campers at the time, but I’m sure that will be us someday so I can’t hold a grudge. Above all, "My Way" by Frank Sinatra will always bring me back to my real home and I will always think of my Dad speaking each lyric before Frank sings it, my Mom preparing or serving up a delicious home cooked meal, Dave catching up on his sports in his man cave, white wine, and more often than not having ML over for dinner. It feels warm, safe, full and fun.

I would like to believe ‘home’ is a universally warm, safe, full and fun place but that would be naïve. Mady and I visited the home of Lupe, and her younger sister Blanca Rosa (one of the Mariposas) the other day. Blanca Rosa had been crying at practice on Saturday morning and when Mady asked what was wrong she expressed that her ‘Papa’ was taken away to León by the police around 5am and has to be there for 3 or 4 months while his arrest is processed. Their mother works a lot, we wanted to go make sure they were okay and offer our help and support if there was anything we could do. We met their mother, María José, but the girls weren’t home at that time of day. We told her the reason for our visit, and she was confused because the father of her daughters lives and works in Costa Rica and has been there for a long time. She explained that he comes and goes, and sends food for the girls on an irregular basis and wants nothing to do with her. She was angry with Blanca Rosa, assuming she had lied to Mady. She walked with us down the street and around the corner to where Blanca Rosa and Lupe were. Lupe was inside at her grandmother’s house using the phone to call her dad and find out when they would receive food next. Blanca Rosa was playing soccer with her cousins in the street. María José immediately started scolding her for not having shoes on, and told her she had to come home right now. Then she asked her about what happened on Saturday, and again Blanca Rosa explained that she was upset because ‘Papa’ had to leave. María José realized that Blanca Rosa was referring to her tío (uncle-María José’s brother) who they call ‘Papa’ because they rarely see their actual father. Blanca Rosa didn’t want to stop playing and put up a slight fuss, but there was no arguing with her mother. She reluctantly went to go get her shoes. While she was inside, María José was telling us that she is a very disobedient girl and that when their father comes back from Costa Rica for a short time in December that he would beat them to teach them a lesson. She continued, saying the girls aren’t scared of her because she doesn’t hit them hard enough but they know not to disobey their father. When Blanca Rosa came back out, María José pointed out multiple scars on her legs that she supposedly received from these beatings.

We were at a loss for words. We are in no place to tell parents how to raise their children, but it is heart-breaking to know what some of these girls experience inside their homes. It makes me wonder what kind of feelings the word induces for them, and makes me consider that while for me home is a very comforting idea it doesn’t carry the same meaning for everybody. It showed me an even greater importance of what we do in Fútbol Sin Fronteras to create a safe space for the girls to come, and play, and learn. A place for them to feel loved and appreciated, free from familial and societal pressures. While that is an important thing regardless of circumstance, the importance increases exponentially when no other place like that exists in their lives.

It makes sense why the girls show up early and stay late. It makes sense that they are all so eager to give and receive hugs. It makes sense that sometimes they are angry, or sad, or quiet, or misbehaved.

It increases my patience, slows my tendency to judge, makes me want to be better and do more for them and it makes me unbelievably thankful for all the places I can call home, and the people who make my homes so full of love and laugher.

I’m missing you all very much

Amor, Paz, y Fútbol

KPope

Makin' Moves

Alas, we still have a rat. Since we saw the first signs of one in the house, we have covered our trash can, boarded up the sides of the stove where they always crawl in to hide, and we’ve been sticklers about not leaving dirty dishes in the sink or any kind of food scraps laying around. We even put a large amount of rat poison in a bowl of oatmeal and left it on the floor of the kitchen one night. In the morning, the oatmeal had been licked clean but the rats still live. Absurd. I’m at a loss for why they keep coming back, but also what they can possibly find to eat. They’re obviously eating something because our countertops and the top of our fridge are littered with rat feces every morning. Yummm, who wants breakfast?

Last night, the rat weaseled it’s way into Mady’s bedroom through a hole in her door. It ran up on her bed and around 1:30am she woke up to a rat scurrying over her feet. She jumped up, whipped on the light, and shooed it out with a broom, and then understandably couldn’t fall back asleep for the rest of the night.

Would you rather: have a giant black lizard crawl up through the pipes in your bathroom and come home to find it parked on your bed OR be woken up at 1:30am by a fat gray rat crawling over your feet in bed?

I think I’d almost prefer the lizard. It’s a toss up.

Anyways. It’s war in Tres Pisos now. Tomorrow we are headed out in search of these extremely sticky pads that you can put out and apparently when the rats run across them they get stuck and can’t escape. I’m skeptical after the rat poison fail, but willing to try anything at this point. Time to make some serious moves.

Speaking of making moves, big things are happening within the next month for Fútbol Sin Fronteras. A week from Friday (the 28^th) the Mariposas and the Estrellas will have their first off-field workshop. Off-field workshops are more educationally driven rather than team-building oriented and they almost always involve a special guest from the community to come talk to the girls. We aim to run three of these workshops per season with each team, and I am the point person in terms of contacting outside people to come be special guests and organizing these interactive special events for the girls. (Mady is the point person for Cultural Exchange and Civic Engagement Projects- the teams aim to do one of each of these per season as well) Tying in with the Inspiration theme this season, I invited members from the Nicaraguan Women’s National Soccer team to come to Tres Pisos to run a workshop for the Mariposas and the Estrellas. I was so lucky to receive their contact information from a past volunteer who had played on the national team for awhile, and even luckier to receive a relatively prompt response saying they would be happy to help us out! I have a fun day planned complete with some soccer, some Q&A for the girls to learn more about what has inspired these incredibly successful female athletes, and some arts and crafts to create inspirational locker room/activity space posters and decorations for the girls and the national neam members to swap. We can’t wait to make the big announcement to the teams sometime this week!

On October 13, the Mariposas, the Estrellas, and the Veteranas are all signed up to participate in the Global Peace Games held at the American Nicaraguan School (ANS) in Managua. “The United Nations’ Global Peace Games for Children and Youth are an opportunity for young people all over the world to demonstrate their commitment to make the world a better and healthier place and their central role and solidarity in the mission of global friendship, peaceful solutions and nonviolence.” (taken from the website) FSF and ANS have co-hosted this daylong tournament for the past three years, and last year the Estrellas took home the championship for their age group! We have a lot to live up to, but the girls are already so excited to go back, and players and coaches alike can’t stop telling me how much fun they had and how it was such an amazing day both in terms of helping to celebrate this important international event, as well as helping the girls gain a whole world of self-confidence. I can’t wait to be part of the action this time around, and see my girls take some names.

The past few Wednesdays we have been taking advantage of some free time to do some professional development training to help steer the Nica coaches towards a positive reinforcement approach rather than the negative one they are so accustomed to. They all struggle in this area so Larkin has been creating mini-workshops to show them the difference between the two methods of reinforcement, and to provide them with creative tactics that they can use for behavior management when dealing with the Mariposas and Estrellas, rather than the punishment without explanation and embarrassment in front of their peers tactics that they know so well. They are starting to get the hang of it, but Larkin and I wanted to create a solid and systematic way of doing behavior management rather than just giving suggestions and tactics for how to deal with the girls. With our Bowdoin brains plus our Pixar-loving child-like personalities, we came up with what we believe is the best idea EVER:

On the last Friday of every month, nobody has school (pretty good deal, eh?) SO. We decided that we should take advantage of these days to have a GIANT WATER BALLOON FIGHT! Estrellas vs. Mariposas. It would be a change of pace from the normal soccer and activities- a day of pure fun with no need to be quiet and listen to directions, no hidden educational lessons, just fun with reckless abandon (and a nice way to cool down in this heat). It would be something for the girls to look forward to each month AND we are going to use it as a way to keep them on their best behavior. Each girl will start the month with 10 balloons to her name. Balloons will be deducted for instances of bad behavior, and if she runs out she won’t be able to participate in the fun. However, the idea is that the girls will strive to keep all of their balloons because they will be so excited for when the big day arrives. Next Friday after the national team players leave, we are going to have a trial water balloon fight with just the coaches. Helen, Flaca, Techo and me against Mady, César, Hassell, and Larkin. They are going dowwwwwwn.

Keep posted on all the fun! (and rat updates)

Amor, Paz, y Fútbol

KPope

Disconnected Thoughts

• In the past week, we found one giant dead rat in the ceiling of the 2nd floor (we were able to smell it out) and with some good help from César and Techo, we killed two of the other mice in Tres. I would like to believe we got them all, but it's too hard to tell. Nonetheless, it was quite a productive week.

• Last Monday instead of having our regular staff meeting in the office, we had it in Hotel Con Corazón (a hotel down the street from the office) because on Monday nights they teach free salsa lessons and as Larkin said "Hay que disfrutar la vida!" (It's necessary to enjoy life!) Guys lined up on one side of the room across from their partners on the other. However, there was an uneven number of guys and girls and since I am taller than everybody as I've mentioned, I had to be one of the guys. Flaca was my little Latina flame for the night and I learned a bunch of great leading salsa moves, but would definitely still trip over myself and not be able to dance as the actual girl. C'est la vie.

• There are a lot of horses in this city. Usually they have saddles, reins, and riders or they are pulling carriages. However, there seem to be an increasing number of unbridled horses free to roam down city streets alone, or like the other day- straight through our practice field. Maren always used to make us practice checking over our shoulder to see where the defender was before receiving the ball and turning, so that we wouldn't turn into a pressure situation. Here, that has a whole new meaning. There's nothing quite like trapping the ball out of the air, making a quick foot move to turn and go in another direction and nearly running into a large grazing horse that you didn't see before you picked up your head or checked over your shoulder. Thanks for the practice, Mare!

• On many of my house visits, I am offered many things by the incredibly gracious families I have met: water, coffee, juice, snacks, fruit from one of their trees, etc. 90% of what I am offered are things that I have been warned not to eat or drink because my weak American stomach can't handle a lot of what Nicas put into their bodies. I'm pretty bad at saying no in the first place, but even worse when I have adorable twelve year old girls, their smiling young siblings, and their eager parents going out of their way to make me feel comfortable and welcome. I just can't turn down their offers, and may be getting myself into some risky business. Oops.

• On Tuesday night, I wore my Peace Love & Crabs T-shirt. I had worn it to Veterana practice that afternoon and the water supply in Tres Pisos decides to shut off randomly, so I didn't have a chance to shower in between practice and activity night. I was shweaty, but had to grin and bear it. The girls didn't notice one bit when they were greeting me with the usual hugs before the night starts. They read the back of the shirt in English and asked what it meant in Spanish, so I told them. Some of them giggled, and some just shot me confused faces. I know, I said, it's a little strange but it's a family thing. They asked for the story, so I explained about our family's annual Yankee Swap at Christmas (which is quite difficult to explain in Spanish I realized) and that one year my grandmother ended up with this crazy t-shirt, and she passed away this March but now our whole family has a t-shirt like this to always have that memory of her. They more or less understood, even though nothing like that would ever really happen here. Regardless, they  told me they liked all the different colors on the shirt. I almost forgot how disgusting I looked/smelled after coming from practice. When we went inside to start the activity, Techo gave me a playful shove, and then exclaimed, "Awwgh estás sudando!" (Awwgh you're sweating!) Nothing like boys to keep you humble.

• I know I'm not allowed to pick favorites, but if I could, it would arguably be María Guadalupe Corea Miranda or just "Lupe." She reminds me the most of myself (or I guess how I remember myself at age 13) She's a bit taller than the other girls, but lanky and still needs to grow into her limbs. She gets along well with everybody and isn't an outspoken leader by any means, but a crucial member of the team nonetheless. She tries her best all the time, and despite her slight lack of coordination she never gets embarrassed or self-conscious. She isn't afraid to laugh at herself, and relishes in the opportunity to make others laugh too. She handles herself with maturity, a sly sense of humor, and an inner spirit that never fails to brighten my day.

It's crazy to think that I'm only approaching the two month mark. I live in a drastically different place than anywhere I've ever been, but it oddly feels so normal after such a short amount of time. It helps having Larkin here, it helps that every person I've met has been more than welcoming and accomodating, it helps that I can still remain connected to my real home despite being so far, it helps that I can watch webcasts of my Bears crushing Bates 3-0, it helps that I can play some soccer of my own to stay connected to a sport that has been such a constant presence throughout my entire life. 

It's also nice to have a little crazy here and there. It constantly makes me consider the ties that exist between all people, rather than the differences that have the capacity to drive us apart. Sure, the differences in our education systems have really left my head spinning at times. But whether there is a 5'6" human defender behind us or a full grown horse, we all have to check over our shoulder before we turn with the ball.

All that being said, I think I can do without kitchen rats, so don't worry. I'll eventually come home.

Amor, paz, y fútbol

KPope

Spotlight: Lizbeth Aracelly Tückler Ruíz

One of the hardest parts of this job, as I was well warned about prior to getting here, is not being able to see or measure the change or outcomes of all the work I put in. We strive to set these girls up for success by building up their confidence, teaching them how to cooperate and work in a group setting, and exposing them to some incredible role models (the Nica coaches) during their formative pre-teen and teenage years. The girls always have a blast at activity nights and practices and games, but it doesn't change the fact that some of their parents have left to go work in Costa Rica where the tourism industry is more profitable and these young girls are left to take care of their even younger siblings. It doesn't change the fact that the majority of these girls won't have enough money to afford to go to college. This program may change them individually, but structurally there are still giant roadblocks that exist in the way of their success, and it's hard not to feel helpless sometimes. But then there was  Lizbeth.

I am in the process of doing individual house visits for each of the girls on my team, and on Friday I went to Lizbeth's house. She is one of the participants that has been coming to Fútbol Sin Fronteras for the longest amount of time (since 2009) and she is definitely one of the leaders on the Estrellas, and gets along very well with everybody on the team. She lives in a barrio right across the street from Tres Pisos in a small house with a blue wooden frame, a red front door, and a tin roof. I showed up right as her mom was leaving for work, which was unfortunate because I have two sets of questions for these house visits- one for the participant, and one for the "responsable" (parent/guardian) It ended up being okay though, because Lizbeth is probably the smartest girl in Nicaragua and had no problem answering all my questions eloquently and in depth. Lizbeth and I have an ongoing joke that Justin Bieber is my boyfriend, which always gets her riled up because she is pretty convinced that Justin Bieber is her boyfriend. (I don't even really like or know anything about Justin Bieber, it's just my shameless way of getting to know these girls better by relating to them on their level)

 A side note: Nicaraguans don't really understand how big, and how many people live in the United States, and therefore they're convinced that we know all the celebrities. When we first got here, our sleezy landlord attempted to raise our monthly rent by 180% which is simply unheard of. We argued with him and told him that we are a non-profit organization and don't have enough money to pay that and we would have to move out. He didn't believe us, and argued back, "But your candidate is a millionaire!" Thoroughly confused by what he meant, Larkin and Mary finally put the pieces together. "What? Mitt Romney?! We don't know him!" Also, all my Estrellas think I'm lying to them when I say I don't personally know any singers or actors from the United States. Either that, or they think I'm super lame for not having any famous friends.

Anyways. I started the conversation by telling her that Justin is doing well, and he really wants to come visit me but he's too busy in the studio. I also informed her that he decided to shave his head, which made her scream "¡Nooooo! Que bonito su pelo." (Noooo! His hair is so beautiful) Oh, the world of a twelve year old girl. I told her I was joking, and she breathed a sigh of relief, and then we continued on with the conversation. I asked about her daily life, who she lives with, what her daily routine is like etc. She lives with her mom, her two older sisters, her uncle, and many cousins in two separate houses attached by a small courtyard in between them. It is a pretty standard living situation for families in Granada. Lizbeth is up by 5:30am to shower, eat breakfast, and off to school around 6:40. She attends Guadalupe, a catholic private school around the corner from our office. 

Digging a little deeper, I asked her what has been the greatest challenge in her life or something that she feels has greatly impacted the person she is today. Without getting too specific or detailed, she responded that for awhile her biggest challenge was simply "sentirse apoyada" or feeling supported. She mentioned that her mom is a huge support for her and always keeps tabs on where she is, who she's with, and whether or not she feels safe (a difficult feat for a lot of working mothers here) but she feels a large lack of support from her dad who seems to be out of the picture, from what I gathered. While this has been a struggle for her, she says she feels thankful that her mom is so supportive of everything she does, and she feels that her teammates and coaches at FSF have been a great support system as well. I had to pause and remember I was talking to a twelve year old girl. Clearly, she's well beyond her years in maturity, but is also handling the lack of a father figure with incredible grace and a positive perspective. 

My questions progressed into why she started coming to Fútbol Sin Fronteras in the first place, why she keeps coming, and what she hopes to achieve through her participation. Lizbeth was an interesting subject to interview in this regard because she has been coming for so long. She told me that one day on her walk home from school, her best friend Hasly (another Estrella) took a wrong turn and Lizbeth asked where she was going. "C'mon we're going to Fútbol Sin Fronteras to play soccer!" she said. Lizbeth replied, "What? That sport is for boys." It was funny hearing about her initial reaction to the idea of girls playing soccer, but also very telling of how much this program has accomplished in its four short years of establishment. The girls don't think twice anymore about sweating, getting dirty, and playing a contact sport whereas before the lack of opportunity to play, societal pressures and cultural resistance kept them excluded. Lizbeth also mentioned that through her participation, she has learned how to get along and cooperate with all the other girls and Flaca and Techo taught her that if she concentrates on something and puts in her best effort she will be able to achieve her goals. As a follow up type of question, I asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up. "Una ingeniera de sistemas," she promptly answered me. (A systems engineer) Wow. "Is math your favorite subject?" I asked. She answered, "Yes. A lot of people think it's boring but for me it's exciting. I love the feeling when I can finally solve a problem after thinking it through for awhile. I just like to figure things out. I also like English." Lizbeth is one of my girls who loves to greet me in English to practice what she is learning in school. I asked her what they are studying in English now. "Ocupaciones," (Occupations) she said. "Sé que lechero es milkman, tendero es grocer, verdulero es green grocer, conductor es driver." She began rattling off the terms she knew. I noticed that none of the occupations she listed require a degree. "Sabes como decir ingeniera?" I asked. (Do you know how to say engineer?) She didn't, so I told her, and she repeated it to herself a few times. She smiled. "I want to be an engineer," she stated in heavily accented but good English. I smiled back. She pulled out her textbook to show me the section they were working on, and not one of the occupations in the text book required any type of higher education. It's hard to dream big if you're presented with a limited number of options.

Lizbeth is a warm, charismatic, smart, mature, funny, and strong twelve year old girl. She gets up, showers, and eats breakfast every morning before heading to school. She has a giant celebrity crush on Justin Bieber. She comes home, does her homework, and watches one of her favorite television shows that comes on at 2pm. She has plans for her future. She is learning a second language. She has dealt with a family issue. She is very much like any twelve year old girl in the United States (except for I don't know a lot of twelve year old girls that want to be systems engineers), and yet she was born in Nicaragua and faces a whole different world of problems. 

While it may be discouraging to think about all the ways in which Lizbeth's successful future lies out of my control, I left Lizbeth's house with a newfound confidence in the work I am doing here. Not only did Fútbol Sin Fronteras convince Lizbeth that soccer is not only for boys, it has helped her to dream big. She has goals, she has self-confidence, and she feels "apoyada" by her teammates and her coaches. I found a Babe Ruth quote that says, "It's hard to beat a person who never gives up." Despite the structural barriers to success, Lizbeth is gonna be a hard one to beat.

Amor, paz, y fútbol

KPope

Last Night

"I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive." ~Joseph Campbell

Muddy, Sweaty, Alive

Yesterday, we (the Veteranas) had an away game against a women's team from Catarina (a small town about half an hour outside of Granada). Saturday night I had my normal pre-game excitement, and probably more so because I knew I would get some quality playing time. I made a pump up playlist for the bus ride and spent a quiet night in at home to get some beauty rest before the big day.

The team started showing up to the office around 11 and it was a chaotic hour of handing out uniforms, and finding cleats/shinguards in the right sizes to lend to the people that needed to borrow some gear. Our light blue unis had numbers on the jerseys AND shorts, but not all of them had matches. I ended up with 25 on my back, just like in college, and 4 on my shorts. Pretty cool. We had ordered food from a Fritanga (street food stand that sells "fritos"- chicken, plantains, and coleslaw-esque salad wrapped in a banana leaf and put in a plastic bag) but it never showed up. I called to find out what happened, and they thought we had cancelled the order for some reason but told us they could have it ready in two hours. We didn't have that kind of time. Very typical of Nica life, there was some miscommunication along the way, and we had to improvise. Once we finally had all of our gear we walked as a group (21 in total) to the market to pick up some makeshift lunches and hop on a public bus heading out to Catarina. 

A playlist Kelly, really? Toto, we are NOT in Kansas anymore. All 21 of us crammed on to this seemingly already full school bus, and clung to the metal bars on the ceiling to steady ourselves. Thinking back, it seems a little unnecessary that we did that considering how solidly squished we were. If the bus had stopped short, we weren't going anywhere. I was towering over a group of three women who were sharing one seat. The one closest to the window was reading, and looked surprisingly serene given her environment. The woman in the middle had a giant basket of vegetables in her lap that she was surely going to sell wherever her destination was, and the woman in the aisle had a white towel in her lap and it took me about 25 minutes into the trip before I realized she was holding a puppy inside that towel. Well this was surely different than any away game trip I have ever experienced. Usually I have two coach bus seats all to myself, a pillow, a blanket, my kitty and my iPod bumping jams. I always push trying to play HotSeat and discourage all the nerds on the team from trying to do their work on the bus. That seems silly to me now. (Not the HotSeat part, just a quiet, and comfortable busride with plenty of space) Who needs it?

We were dropped off at the entrance to Catarina, and started walking through the small town to get to the field. It reminded me of a mini-Granada. Larkin asked me if I would mind playing forward since our team already has many defenders. I told her I would, but I couldn't promise anything spectacular. Especially considering I haven't played in a real full-sided game in a lonnnnggg time. The field was bumpy, muddy, and not ideal, but a field nonetheless. After about another hour of "warming up"/waiting around for the other team to show up, we finally got the game started about half an hour later than the scheduled time (2pm) Our starting line-up huddled together before taking our positions, and I was expecting someone to make a brief pump-up speech but instead Abigail led us all in a prayer thanking God for the opportunity to play together. I started at left forward and was quickly reminded of a few things- 1. There are few things that can make me completely forget about everything going on around me and just live for the moment, but soccer is one of them (and as much as I loved watching my team play game after game and loved cheering from the bench, being on the field is a whole different story) 2. I have a bit of a short-temper, exacerbated by bad refereeing. and 3. Some people think soccer is boring because the games are so long and the goals are few and far between, but the feeling of battling back and forth over and over and over and FINALLY scoring after such a concerted team effort is one of the most exciting things to watch and experience in the world. Oh, and 4. I have no offensive "moves"

The other team struck first. They were aggressive and had some speed demons up front. We weren't winning balls out of the air, we weren't talking on defense, we were lackluster and disorganized. I was trying to talk a lot, but struggling to choose a language. It was some serious Spanglish if I've ever heard it. "Talk on defensa!" "Man on, lleva.." "Aqhere!" or "Herequi!" It's very tricky to speak a foreign language when you're in the heat of the moment and playing a game that you've played your entire life in your native language. Luckily, my teammates got the jist and we picked up some speed. I think you can pretty much communicate anything on the field with some sort of shout and body gesture. About 15 minutes after their goal, my friend Samari ripped a shot from center mid that the keeper deflected but couldn't grab hold of. I sprinted to it, shielded the ball from the keeper's hands and was able to get a measly cross off. Leticia (who used to play on the Nicaraguan women's national team) was in the exact right spot to finish it in the back of the net. ¡Gooooool! Oh, it felt good. I had many more opportunities in the rest of the half to up the score, but couldn't channel my inner Ellery Gould if my life depended on it. 

Second half, I was switched to center mid. It was a bit of a relief, since passing is definitely more of a forte of mine rather than shooting. Still, I was in the middle of the action instead of my comfortable positions on the outside. I noticed that almost everyone on the field had lost some steam after halftime, so I was gaining some false confidence when I could trap the ball out of the air uncontested and take time to turn and dish it upfield. Try as we might, all of our shots kept sailing wide, high, or into the hands of the keeper. There were also many questionable offsides calls, which as a defender is one of my favorite rules of soccer, but playing on the other side of things was very frustrating. I definitely yelled at the ref a few times in my horrendous heat of the moment Spanglish, but that didn't accomplish anything. Finally, with about 8 minutes left in the game Leticia gave me a beautiful slotted pass that I was ready to launch on net. Instead, I slipped in the muddy goal mouth and ended up making a dinky little pass to Jessica, who then launched the ball in to the goal. Wooooooooooo! The whistle blew a few minutes later and we were victorious, muddy, sweaty, and so alive.

We had to rush back to catch a bus back to Granada. But we missed it. So we had to catch a bus that was going to Masaya that could drop us off somewhat close to Granada. From there, one of the girls waved down a pickup truck and 15 of them climbed into the bed of the truck. (Hitchhiking is very common practice here) Larkin, Mady, Flaca, Helen, Jessica, Leticia and I decided to wait for another mode of transportation since surely if one more person had joined them, it was a disaster waiting to happen. Juana pointed out a square foot of free space and told me they had room for one more and motioned for me to hop in. Thanks, but no thanks! In case you haven't noticed Juana, my legs are longer than most people's entire bodies in this country and I don't think I will fit into that inch of space that you so generously saved for me. Somehow they all made it back to Granada in one piece, and the rest of us arrived a bit later in a bus.

It was an experience and a half and I wouldn't have wanted to spend my Sunday any differently. Besides the logistics, it was just like any other away game I have played. Bonding with teammates during the travel time, changing into our uniforms together in the locker room (or rather the dug out of a baseball field) pats on the back for good tries, a bit of yelling for the mistakes, and joint celebration for goals. Though I was not expecting the pre-game prayer, I realized I don't take enough time to appreciate how lucky I am to be playing this sport. Oh how I've missed it. 

I think I'm going to be stuck playing forward or midfield for the rest of the season. I hope they don't expect two assists out of me every time. Pretty sure that was just beginner's luck. Or maybe I'm wearing lucky shorts :)

Amor, paz, y fútbol

KPope