I've never been a firm believer in fate. I don't even think I believe that everything always necessarily happens for a reason. I definitely fall on the floatin' side of Forrest Gump's debate; not neccesarily floating without direction or purpose, but very much at the mercy of unpredictable winds that can blow us off course at any given time. It is how we manage the things that we can control, as well as how we respond to things outside of our control that determines how we turn out at the end of this whole journey.
Sometimes, however, life makes me stop to reconsider.
The past few weeks, nothing has really fallen into place or come together easily. It has been a trying time of adapting and readapting to changing plans, problem solving on the fly, and making the best out of less than desirable circumstances; very much floatin'. This week, I put my workshop planning skills back to the test to celebrate the UN's first International Day of the Girl. On Tuesday, I showed the girls a video that I had put together that featured pictures and videos of girls playing sports around the world, as well as pictures of themselves to introduce the theme for the week and the party we were going to have on Friday. We recorded interviews to create our own movie, and created a mural on the first floor of Tres Pisos. On Tuesday, the Mariposas hand-painted and the Estrellas were interviewed and last night we switched roles. The interviews were hard to hear through the volume of laughter and shouting that fills the Tres on activity nights, the paint dripped everywhere and was hard to wash off. Also, the Estrellas were supposed to have a round robin mini soccer tournament yesterday afternoon (on October 11, which is the actual Day of the Girl) but there were baseball teams covering all of our available field space so they didn't get a chance to play. I could sense the frustration as they peeled their socks off and changed back out of their cleats.
After we returned to Tres Pisos and they had all added their hand-prints to the mural, they headed home and I headed upstairs to lay down for awhile. Twenty minutes later, Cándida showed up because she had missed the activity on Tuesday and wasn't aware that our activity was going to start earlier on Thursday because of the scheduled games. She also hadn't seen any part of the mural yet and paused to stare at it. I asked if she wanted to add her hand-print, so she did, but she remained staring at the wall and I could see the gears working in her head. "What's your vision? What do you want to add?" I asked her impulsively. The existing mural on the wall had been painstakingly drawn out and painted by César, and the 60+ little handprints surrounding it nearly completed the vision exactly as we had planned it out which was a pretty rare occurrence, especially in recent days. Handing 13 year old Cándida a paint brush, and opening the can of dark blue paint for her to add her own artistic touch was a risky and potentially terrible idea, but for some reason it just felt like what I was 'supposed' to do. She carefully dipped the tip of the brush into the paint and made her first stroke. She was amazing.
I was able to stream the most recent episode of one of my favorite shows, Modern Family, today. In the episode, Claire and Phil help Haley move in to college and Phil leaves her with a book of all the things that he has learned throughout his life, called "Phil's Osophy". They are mostly funny ridiculous sayings that don't make much sense, but one that he reads is, "The most amazing things that can happen to a human being will happen to you if you just lower your expectations."I think the past few weeks have naturally lowered my expectations a little bit as for expecting things to go as planned, to be executed well, etc. and though it may seem like a negative thing, it has created a space for amazing things to happen. Watching Cándida paint may sound like an inane event, but it sent chills up my spine and is a feeling I won't forget anytime soon. I handed her a brush that had the power to essentially ruin a lot of people's hard work, but I think there was a 'reason' she showed up to Tres Pisos last night that was bigger than just being misinformed. She was meant to complete and improve that mural, and she was meant to have that opportunity to showcase her talents in a visible and somewhat public place. And perhaps all these recent unfortunate events have happened to make me willing to hand over that paint brush and less set on sticking to a grand plan.
Original vision with the Mariposa hands
Xiomara making her mark
Karla gettin' messy
Cándida working her magic, Ana Paola there with moral support
Increíble
Still a work in progress, but we're getting there!
After Cándida left last night, I went out to pick up some food for dinner and while I was waiting in line on the street corner to order my frito, I heard My Way by Frank being sung karaoke style on the next street. "...and deed eet Maiiiii Waaaayyyy" (Nica style) and to steal a quote from my friend Lauren's blog (she is working as a volunteer at a school in the Dominican Republic this year) from the book Eat, Pray, Love and Elizabeth Gilbert writes, "I thought about one of my favorite Sufi poems, which says that God long ago drew a circle in the sand exactly around the spot where you are standing now. I was never not coming here. This was never not going to happen." I still think we're floatin' around accidental-like on a breeze, but a large part of me felt like I was very much meant to be in those exact places last night and to do the things I did, see the things I saw, and hear that song on that street corner. So I think maybe Forrest was right. Maybe it's both.
Today we aren't able to have our party because our next door neighbor's grandmother is very very sick and will probably pass away in the next few days and we want to leave her in peace out of respect. And that's okay. We will treat the girls to some ice cream, and have our party on Tuesday and I will have a few extra days to complete my video. I will keep you updated with the final project results and all that jazz.
Thank you Forrest Gump, Phil Dunphy, Lauren Carroll, and Cándida for challenging me to think in new and more open ways. I'm better for it.
Amor, paz, fútbol, y pintura (paint!)
KPope
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